Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Jan 8 - Trust in parents

How important is it for children to trust their parents? Does the child's survival depend on it? Should trust be gained before given? Is trust a CHOICE to make? Should you choose to trust someone until that trust is lost?

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think children are completely dependent on their parents until atleast the age when they begin to problem solve and comprehend what is going on around them. I believe one of the biggest keys to being an adult is situation comprehesion and being able to come up with a mature solution to an issue. Thus, being able to trust your parents is essential. Although if you do grow up without trust, you will know no other way. The ability to give trust would be damaged because of the lack of knowledge of trust. So i believe trust is established into children and is not a choice. Trust is essential for children to survive (especially in a trying situation). But trust would not be needed to survive once the kid would be able to understand how to survive on his own.

Trust to me should be given before recieved. Be nice and courteous, and then expect the same back. You cant simply expect trust without proving to an induvidual that you are capable of giving it in return.

Anonymous said...

That is Brian Aguirre up there ^^^^^

Emily G said...

I think it is essential that children trust their parents to a certain point. I think that it is human nature to trust our parents when we're young because we have nothing else to depend on. However, once children reach an age when they begin to make larger decisions on their own, without any parental input, their trust begins to decline with their dependency. I think that at first, children need to trust their parents in order to learn life skills, manners, etc. But when they reach the age when their dependency begins to decline, they don't have to trust their parents for everything anymore. (I guess there's a fine line between trust and dependency in children.)


I don't think it's fair for everyone to expect to gain the trust of others before they give them their own trust: first of all, it's kind of putting yourself above others and second of all, if everyone thought that way, no one would trust anyone, would they?

I don't think that trusting your parents is a consious choice, but I do believe that trusting others is.

I think that once you trust someone, you should, in general, choose to continue to trust them, unless they do something that causes them to lose your trust.

Unknown said...

I think it is very important for children to trust their parents because parents make all of a childs decisions as they grow up and then as they get a little older a child has some more freedom with their own choices. When a child is young their survival does depend on the trust in the parent because they are trusting their parent to make the right decision for them in their best interest. I would definetley say that trust has to be gained before given becasue you don't want your information to be in the wrong hands. You do choose who you trust. I think you choose on previous knowledge. If you know a friend has a tendency to lie or let things slip then I wouldn't trust them. I would trust someone after they have proven that they are worth trusting but if they lied to me on a couple of occasions I probably wouldn't trust them and wouldn't tell them anything about me.

Unknown said...

I think it is extremely important for children to trust their parents. Until a child turns eighteen, their parent is completely responsible for them, and if the child does not trust their parent those eighteen years would be miserable for both the parent and the child. They would constantly be suspicious of one another. I think a child's survival does depend on a mutual trust between them and their parents. If a child fails to be comfortable around their parents and they don't deserve the trust, the child could go down the wrong path (I've seen plenty of TV shows that show this). I also believe trust should be gained before given. If someone is undeserving of your trust, you shoukd not reward them with it without gaining it, otherwise you could be easily deceived. Trust is a choice to make. When you first meet someone, it is not natural to have immediate trust in them. Most people are inherently suspicious. I know I don't just hand out my trust. If you choose to trust someone,I think you should trust themm until that trust is lost. However, you should not choose to trust someone until they prove their trustwothiness to you.

Audrey said...

i think when children are young they don’t know any better than to trust their parents. Children are very dependent on their parents and don’t necessarily know what trust is. I think the childs survival does depend on it. I believe that in order to be shown trust you have to earn it. I don’t think that someone that is not worthy to be trusted should receive any back. Trust is a choice but i think common sense is a part of it too. You wouldn’t trust some killer not to kill anymore if you let them go.

Unknown said...

Amanda Calvin
Children should be able to trust their parents. I don't think a child's survival depends on it more of the child's security and mental health might be effected. Trust is a choice. You should trust people who have earbned trust or people you think will earn your trust or seems a trustworthy person. You choose tto trust and not to trust people.

Unknown said...

Trust is a huge factor in any relationship whether it is dating, parent/ child relationships or any type of friend relationship.

I think that trusting your parent is a whoile different level of them trusting you. Many people tell there mom/dad something hoping that they won't share the information with any sibling or the other parent. But that doesn't always happen. Maybe they kid just wants to tell there dad something and there mom doesn't have to know?

I think a person can always be trusted to a certain point. A person should always have there guard up to any/everyone. Trust isn't everything in relationships but for it to be healthy, their should be trust.

Im not completely sure of the entire trust before gained situation. Seems sort of confusing to me.

Another thing is that parents really should take into consideration of there own childs needs and wants. Not everything is about the parents being "friends" with there child. Being friends with a child will develop trust but probably will result in the loss of authority over the child.

Unknown said...

I think that is is very important for children to trust their parents. I don't know if I would go as far as to say that a child's life depended on trusting their parents, but I do that it is very important to trust parents because they are the people who will always be there for you no matter what happens. I don't think that trust needs to be gained before given because I think it should be given and received equally. Trust is a choice to make, because one can choose who they trust or on;t trust. I think taht you should choose to trust someone until the trust is lost. Me personally, I will trust someone as long as they show me that they can be trusted. If they do anything to break that trust, I will no longer trust them and they will have to rebuild their trust with me. Also, my parents have always said that I have all their trust in the world, until I do something to break it. I did not have to gain their trust, it just happened.

Unknown said...

I believe trust should be given before it is gained, because why would you trust someone that has not shown that some courtesy back to you?
I believe trust is a choice, because why should you trust someone that has given you a good reason not to trust them? But if it is yoour parents, you reall don't have a choice, because either way, they are still in charge of you untill you are eighteen, then you can make your own decisions.
I believe it is crucial for children to trust theri parents because that relationship is the first importent relationship they will ever form. If the child can't trust the people he/she grew up with, how are they supposed to know when to trust anyone else? Yes, depending o nthe situation, the child's life may depend on the trust asnd bond formed between them and their parents.

Taylor said...

I think it is important for a child to trust their parents. The trust isn't essential, but it is definitely helpful in a close relationship. I guess a child must put their ultimate trust in their parents for survival, however. But this comes naturally for the child.

I think that trust must be gained in most circumstances. Most people, by instinct, get to know someone well before they actually trust them with something. Trust is definitely a choice though.

Anonymous said...

I think that it is important for a child to trust their parents. A relationship can't function properly without some sort of trust. When a child is real young I think it is important for the kid to completely trust their parents. As the kid gets older, most of the trust will start to fade away. I do think trust is a choice to make. We choose to believe people and what they say. I personally would trust someone until I find out that I can no longer trust them anymore. I wouldn't trust someone if they gave me a reason not to anymore.

Unknown said...

- I don't really think that a child's trust needs to be all that great for their parents these days. I only think this because while a child is growing up they usually trust their parents that what they're teaching them is the right thing and their making the right decisions. But at this day in age there are some crazy, insane people/ parents out there that are could be teaching their kids weird, inappropriate, dangerous, or just bad manners and things. In these cases it would be better if the kids didnt trust and believe what they're parents were telling them and just wait to grow up and see what the rest of society is like and then make decisions for themselves. It depends alot on the parents mostly I think.

-Once again, I think that the child's survival can depend on the trust if the parents are giving and teaching good morals and information. I heard once on the news that there were parents using their 14 year old daughter as a prostitue and collecting the money from her to use it. In this case the child's trust for her parents on the situation was probably not a strong one and that's a good thing because what she was doing was wrong. A child's survival from trust in their parents once again varies from family to family.

-I think that from a young age parents can sort of tell how trustworthy a child will be when they're older (although this can easily change, don't get me wrong). From there the parents can decide how much trust the child will be originally given on things. The trust will most likely vary in different situations and I definatly think that trust can be gained and taken away by your actions.

-I do think that trust is always a choice for people to make about others. This can be based on feelings you get about a person before you really even meet them or be based on things you learn about the person ater you have already met them and leanred background informaion about them. You don't always have to trust people right from the beginning; I really think that it's better if people have to gain their trust so that there isn't problems if you thought someone was trusting when they weren't.

Unknown said...

I think trust is very important in the parent and child relationship. A parent is responsible for their child until they turn into adults. If there is no trust in the relationship, the child would not feel safe and the parent would feel as if their child was not safe. It would be very hard to build a relationship without trust, although I do not believe it is completely nessesary for the child's survival. They may be in a deadly situation which they are lying to their patents about, but other than that it is not nessesary to survival.
I think that trust needs to be given before gained. If you give your trust to someone, they may feel they can trust you now. You need to show someone that you are capable of trusting them before they put their trust in you. It would be best if trust was equally given and gained because you can depend on each other for honesty and trustworthiness.
I think trust is a choice to make because you can't just put all your trust in someone when you first meet them. It takes time to see if you can trust this person with your secrets or not and it is your choice if you want to tell them anything or not. Lastly, I think you should trust someone until the trust is lost. If they were once trustworthy to you than most likely they are going to continue to be. I would assume that they are still trustworthy until they do something to prove me wrong. Even if they do do something wrong, it is possible for them to earn my trust back.

Tara said...

Hmmm...I think we need to review AGAIN the rules for THEIR, THERE, and THEY'RE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Christie, your story about the parents prostituting their (not there or they're, everyone!) daughter made me what to vomit. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

How important is it for children to trust their parents? Does the child's survival depend on it? Should trust be gained before given? Is trust a CHOICE to make? Should you choose to trust someone until that trust is lost?

It's good for a child to trust their parents to a certain degree. If a parent has no reason to be trusted, then they shouldn't be trusted. A child's survival isn't completely dependent on trusting their parents. However, I believe having parents the child has reason to trust is will undoubtedly help the child prosper.

Trust should be given cautiously. It's not wise to trust someone other people tell you are untrustworthy. Of course, they could be wrong, but it's always best to be safe and not trust them immediately. It's best to give yourself time to judge the person before deciding if you should trust them.

I think part of it is a choice and part is subconscious. I think you may try and want to trust someone, but it may not always work. The subconscious usually trumps the conscious part if it has reason to, though. I think distrust and paranoia have more to do with choice then trust does for some reason. I guess it's because everyone individually has to make the decision of what makes someone untrustworthy.

I think if you have reason to trust someone you probably should trust them until they do something that says you should do otherwise.

Anonymous said...

I agree with most of class, kids trusting a parent is important. But i think just because they're your parents that trust shouldn't just be given. Parents have to earn that trust to by being responsible, etc. A strong relationship is built on trust that the other end of the relationship will always be there to protect you. And without that trust in a child's life they grow into adults who since they never experienced trust have an inability to build stronger relationships. Trust is like other life skills that parent's are responsible for teacher their kids. And i think ti works the other way around to, parents should also trust their kids.

Linda's Kitchen said...

A child should always trust their parents unless the parents have done a dreadful deed to them or have harmed the child purposefully. All children are born trusting the guardian who looks over them, teaches them, protects them, and is just there for them. If the parent means to care for the child and look over them then the child should trust them. Children learn quickly, but most of the time would never make it on their own simply from lack of experience. NO child needs to trust their biological parents but they need to trust their guardian or even a friend to make it through the hard times. In today's world it's impossible for kid to make it on their own, or at least in the United States. They need the support and care of an adult to make it through until they turn of age. But even at this the trust does need to be there. Life without trust I think is a sad one but some have prospered on these grounds and have made the best of their environment.
Trust should depend on the person. Some would break if they gave their trust and it was broken but others do well to trust people before others trusted them. I think it's important to establish trust along the way, as its earned to avoid a shattered heart.

Unknown said...

It is important for kids to trust their parents. I don't think the child's survival depends on it unless they are being beaten by their parents. I think that the parents should give the child a reason to trust them even though the child usually gains that trust easily at an early age. You should be able to choose to trust someone unless they give you a specific reason not to trust them.

Unknown said...

first of all, I have no clue what youre taklikng about Mrs. Stallman?! i really have the least clue what you mean?

i think it is verery important in any kind of realtionship to be able to trust.

For a child to trust his/her parents is a very powerful thing. I think it is very important that you trust in your parents and feel you can honest with them.

I dont think survival depends on it however. I thikn it is a very big part of your life and possibly sanity to trust them, howvere i dont think your living or dying rely on it.

Yes trust shopuld be gained before given. I think this because if you just say "ya i trust you"oure giving the other person complete freedom. i think in oreder for them to respect your trust, they need to gain it.

I think trust is a choice. you make the choice eventually to trust someone. ues they may have earned it, but in earning it and working for it you make the choice in the end to grant them that trust.

I think you trust until someone betrays you and gives you a reason not to trust. Until you are given a reason to not trust, you do. However, once you experience someone letting you down, you then no longer trust them.

Anonymous said...

In nearly every instance, I feel that trust should indeed be earned. There are, unfortunately, parents who neglect and even abuse their children. These parents, of course, do not deserve the trust of their children who even at a young age can recognize the poor choices of their parents. But, in most cases, parents love and care for their children, setting boundaries and rules that guide them toward the right choices. So, unless a child is really able to say that they are being abused or unloved by their parents, children should place their trust in their mothers and fathers.
As for whether trust is a choice or not, it depends upon the relationship. The people in my life that are loved by me have had my complete trust for quite some time. Why? Over years of developing these relationships, my trust in my friends and family naturally grew. However, I never consciously thought "OH, look! My trust is growing while I develop my relationships." In the cases with those close to me, my trust in them is natural, not conscious. On the other hand, acquaintances and more shallow friendships do require me to reflect consciously on whether or not I should trust them.
I also think that trust continues until it is broken.

Unknown said...

It is crucial for a child to be able to place trust in their parents. Children need to trust that their parents are right when making choices. If they cannot trust their parents' advice, that could lead to incorrect decisions. I wouldn't go as far as saying that a child's survival depends on the trust that they place in their parents, but it's certainly possible in some cases. If a child doesn't trust their parents' judgment of it being dangerous to play in the road, the child might get hit by a car.

Trust is not a gift, it is something that must be earned, a privilage. Therefore, it is a bit of a stretch to say that trust should be "given". Sometimes, people need to be trusted to trust. So someone may have to be the first to realize that someone is trustworthy and be the one to give trust before trust is gained. Trust is a choice to make. If someone is sparing with trust, they may be wary of even the most trustworthy of people. Some people place trust in the wrong individuals, though, which leads to destruction. Therefore, if the person earned it, you should trust someone until that trust that you placed in them is lost.

Anonymous said...

I think it is important to be able to trust your parents although it is not nessary at a certain point. A child should be able to confide in their parents to a certain age until they devolop a unique and independent identity where they also can talk to their friends. It's not really a choice but a desiscion made by the actions of those who would cause you to lose trust.